A travelogue

After one month of intense (???) training in Delhi, I just needed a break. Despite Kharagpur being a sleepy town existing in the laziest state of India (no offence!), life there is excessively hectic. At times, even taking soap to the washroom after relieving oneself can be stressful and demand effort. Summer vacations were supposed to recharge my batteries, but due to the reasons mentioned in my previous blog, I landed in a genuinely hectic place…. pretty much comparable to kgp;).
Hence a trip to Mussorie was planned, and even my dad who famously loves his office chair took a vacation after 4 years and decided to come…oh yeah…. he loves me like anything!!!!
I know family trips have their limitations, but at least 2 things are guaranteed…. nice place to stay and loads of food coz parents are so particular about them.
After exiting Dehradun, we were welcomed by the following messages:

“Mussorie- Pahadon ki Rani mein aapka swagat hai- Uttaranchal Tourism”

“Durghatna se Der Bhali”

“Whisky is Risky”

I must give credit…. these guys are creative. The probability of one getting killed due to distraction caused by reading them is pretty high.
The hilly drive starts and my cousin sister, who happens to be with us, and who just loves to get sick (no cynicism here…. its just plain fact, she had even taken the anti-nausea tablet before leaving!!) feels like puking …… so the car is stopped, and the majestic hills get a serving of her breakfast, what a start!! We reach a place called Jharipani, about 4 km before Mussorie where our cottage was situated. The place was heavenly, clouds literally going past us…. a Tibetan monastery nearby, with sounds of prayer bells and hymns made the atmosphere so ethereal, words just cannot describe it.
After resting for sometime, the first stop, like in all the hill stations was the mall road. Even though the tourist season was nearing its end, the sea of humanity there was overwhelming. The most annoying part was the presence of the “darling-ji” crowd….newly married couples, with brides all flaming in red declaring to the world that they are no longer available, and guys holding them tightly as if every male or female(in some cases) in the surrounding wants to take her away. This crowd also includes people who prefer to bring their cars, bikes on the mall road which was once strictly reserved for walkers…stopping at every make shift mela, riding on the giant wheel.etc.etc.
Hence, we concluded that the mall market was the area to ignore. I caught hold of a local tourist brochure and short listed some lonely spots which consisted of long walks and short treks.
The next stop was the Lal Bahadur Shastri National Academy of Administration—my dad’s college during his probationer days. It was a nice campus, spread over a huge area, planned at various levels. The aim of showing the academy was to instill some inspiration(in me) to try for the UPSC exam after graduation. I feel it will take more than just some buildings to convince me to take that path…. anyways, it was pretty nostalgic for pops, especially when Hari, the canteen man recognized him immediately. These sorts of events make me think of the feeling I will get when I come to kgp say after 15 years with my wife/companion(hopefully, I will have some lady in my life at that point).
After seeing every place worth seeing in Mussorie in the next couple of days, I would just describe some interesting incidents.

--My secret attempts to smoke were indeed memorable. Disappearing midway during walks to get some fag must have made people suspicious, but I guess I pulled it off pretty well. The real test of control took place when dad, sitting in the living room of the cottage at 10 pm, his scotch on the table, asked my uncle

“Yaar shailey……cigarette hai kya ??”
“Bhaiyya, I thought you had left longtime back.”
“Yaar…..inna changa mausam hai…..peene ka mann kar raha hai.”
“Haan haan zaroor….ek minute.”

There came my uncle with a pack of IndiaKings in his hand. Dad lighted one up, and since he was sitting besides me, the magical aroma literally flew past me. The mettle of men show up only in dire straits…..so true!!!!

--The only magazines available in the cottage were-femina, elle, cosmo, savvy, society.etc. They were interesting to read, and eventually made me respect women even more.

-- For once I decided to give god a chance…..and voluntarily went alone to visit the Tibetan monastery. It turned out that the entire temple was a part of the residence of some Tibetan lady, to add to that she was also the proud owner of 4 alsatians…who somehow detected the atheist waves being emitted, and chased me back to the cottage.

--The 5 km walk upto Cloud Nine-a house made by a British Major in 1838, now converted into a resort- was exquisite. It was drizzling slightly and the road was really steep. Inside the house, only two things were available for consumption- tea and pakodas– PERFECT. An old radio, Chinese crockery over 125 years old, and photographs showing people like Sunil Gavaskar, Rahul Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi as the proud visitors… all elements of a classy retreat.

Overall, the stay was beneficial….lots of food, lack of smoke, friendship with canines and much needed rest.

Da Vinci Code:Pain in the neck

Ever since I spent my summer vacations idle in first year, there was an enormous urge to be occupied this time. The problem with holidays exceeding 20 days is the gargantuan amounts of laziness that creeps in. The day usually starts at 10:00-10:30, breakfast(or brunch) at 11:00, and bathing by 12:30...at the end of the ablution and the daily release of excreta, lunch time comes. This is followed by a siesta as in summers, one gets tired pretty easily. By the time you wake up, again its some snacks or tv etc. To cut the long story short....you are always in this vicious cycle of consuming food, releasing it some other form, sleeping, consuming food again blah blah blah!!!

Hence, i made this bold decision to spend quality time with professionals, thereby getting some "first-hand practical" exposure. So i join this firm created by ex-kgpians in Vasant Kunj, Delhi. Two problems arose on the very first day:

1.Saturdays were not off(only second Saturdays: wtf,even my college has the courtesy to provide a full weekend break!!!!)

2.Proximity to PVR Priya:A place full of chicks, bars, movies....all the distractions necessary to divert my already confused mind.

Anyways, after concluding that life is not a bed of roses, i decide to give it a go. The beginning is disastrous....the work hours are long and the things to do are really boring. Result:i dont attend office on Friday and Saturday in order to get a long weekend and think about it. But, as someone once said "god has his strange ways", i just start liking my time in the office. The work quality improves and i get some importance...even though the firm will manage pretty well without me also. I stopped bunking office for a full day but started doing the same on 5 hour basis.i.e attend it till lunch time,then just dissapear.
It was one of these occasions, when i along with a friend decided to watch the Da Vinci Code. On reaching the ticket counter, the famous row paradox showed itself in full glory.

"2 tickets for da vinci code,4:40 show."
"yessirr, tht wud be 300 rupees."
"which seats?"
"sirrrr.....row B,seat no.3 & 4."
"sabse aage waali row kaunsi hai???"
(a moment of hesitation)"aaa mm sirrr, A."(he appeared too disappointed that i didn't fall in his trick)

300 BUCKS for 2nd row seats......for a movie surrounded by controversy, whose story we already know.....ufffufffufff. But, it is only under pressure that mettle of a man is tested.
After the transaction is done, we headed towards barista, as it the best place for spending quality time without spending money. Still, when the clock stuck 4:10, we came at the entrance of the theatre. Now, some seriously frustrating crap takes place. First, the guard at the door tells us that he will let us enter after 5 minutes---this was not the entry to the screen, but the main door of the multiplex---NO WONDER PEOPLE BOMB THESE PLACES!!!!

When we return after 5 minutes, this guy says, "Sir, you cannot take this bag in."(Since it was a office bunking exercise, i had a small bag on my shoulders.).I sadly part with it and get it deposited in the nearby locker facility(It was just a paan waala who took 10 rupees for keeping bags and cameras).Finally, we enter.
Near our screen stood the usual line of counters serving popcorn and beverages. The World Cup fever was visible, with giant posters, free demo of XBOX 360 etc. Then we look for the cheapest option available for satisfying our stomachs.
1 Popcorn+2 Pepsis=Rs.120
Not bad, i said.
Then i saw something written in small print: Couple combo

Now that was embarrassing.......but being proud kgpians who are above things like girls etc, we took one.
When we finally take our seats in the theatre, this 3 tonne dude with his 2 tonne gf occupy their seats next to me. The problem was that the seats were not designed for these creatures and hence they were overflowing everywhere, making the entire row of mortal humans around them move along. This stole the joy of movie watching as i was always waiting when his arms will spank my cola. To add to that, it was a neck straining exercise to watch Tom Hanks and his long hair from the 2nd row. Credit goes to the director, inspite of the circumstances, i liked the movie a lot.

The Old fashioned point of view

After spending 6 years in Delhi, looking at such a huge demographic strata of people, it is easy to conclude what defines as "cool" or "in". Strolling near PVR cinemas can be an enlightening experience. I'll just sum up my observations regarding the kind of "characters" visible there.

- Guys wearing jeans at such a low altitude that it is not difficult to see the brand of underwear. Some meticulous observation can also reveal the size.

-Spiked hair with a streak of maroon or orange.

-Conical shaped sideburns or.....no sideburns at all.

-There are always 3 or 4 cases where the male deliberately walks with a stoop, iPod in place, showing off his newest nikes(i bet if those beauties ever made contact with a basketball court!!). Common greeting: ssup??

-Although most of these lads dont have a speck of hair on the body, facial growth rulzzz! Keywords: spotted,french, goatee, imperial,stubble.

One may argue that this is what fashion is , but somehow i feel that it is too stereotyped. Every second youngster seems to have the above listed features on them.
All the effort of writing a blog about this seemingly useless issue makes me look like an orthodox person. Well...yeah, i may be the clean shaven, otherwise hairy,
spectacled guy, but atleast, the garment beneath my pants is a secret.

The Iron Fist

Its 1:40 AM and the sole purpose of writing this crap is to show the world that I have not started blogging as it is trendy or “in”, but in order to put my creative thoughts on paper(don’t take the sentences literally!!).

Let us discuss one of the biggest dilemmas faced by mankind…both young and old. This is regarding the Indian Railways and their unforgivable law of No-Smoking in the trains and platforms. Even though I used to think that there are ways around it, but my recent experiences have proved me wrong.

The standard technique was to stand on the circulation space between two compartments, have a friend on guard and get your kick. But the TCs have somehow got smart, and they have started roaming in civil, ready to fine and get their pockets heavy. I sometimes wonder how such an act should bother anyone. Smoking in trains is usually done near the doors, so passive smoking is out of question, mainly due to the excessive air flow which tends to dissolve the exhaust. It also results in a bunch of happy and satisfied individuals.

This leads to the dirtier solution, the washroom. The basic problem in this scenario is the faulty ambience. The sloppy floor, fragrances of excreta, lack of ventilation etc. kills the very essence of fag. But some recent experiments have provided some improvements in the system. While traveling from Ahemdabad to Pune, I…along with two of my friends discovered that the sliding window in the lavatory can be removed from its frame with some effort applied at the sides. This indeed lead to remarkable changes, particularly due to the regular changing of air which brought an open feeling.

Therefore, try to perform this exercise in your travels, but always put back the window in its place…because at the end of the day, we are all law-abiding citizens.

reality of life

The setting was ironic....soft music, aroma of coffee, presence of beautiful people. I was sitting all alone, waiting for the mocha to arrive. It was a depressing scene to be surrounded by couples, holding hands and talking mush. Even the brownie didnt seem well-heated. The glass doors opened, and in came the goddess. She was wearing a black top, had subtle makeup, with a classy way of carrying herself. The floor was set on fire. Sitting on the opposite table, i kept staring at her. A friend once said, "don't wait for magical things to happen, just grab the opportunity with both hands". I thought,this was the time to throw away all the shyness crap...be a man and ask her in filmi style," can i give company to a beautiful angel such as you?"(inspiration: scent of a women). I gulped the coffee bottoms up, pretending to have whisky in my hand. Just as the man stood up, the lady in black started walking towards him. Sweat poured like rain, this was too good to be true. The lady said, " can i take this chair??". I replied,"aaaa...ya".A hairy hirsute, about 6 feet tall walks in, hugs the girl of my dreams, and they both order sandwiches. I quietly paid the bill, went out and blew my sorrows in smoke.

delirious

When one thinks of sickness, a number of words and expressions flash infront of you. One tries to make the mental picture of the entire experience. Sympathy rules the air.

It was a Sunday morning. My head was spinning when i woke up. The odour of domstals and norfloxes filled my room. The room-mate, afraid of contracting some deadly disease from me, was spending his weekend in a cleaner environment. I went to the loo, puked and brushed my teeth, in order to give myself fake satisfaction.

The worse thing about getting ill in a hostel is lack of attention. When parents are nearby, there is someone who forces you to eat, even if have lost your appetite, there is someone who will remember when you have to take medicines. Life in general is simpler.The phone rang. I took the cell and walked into the volleyball court to avoid the initial disturbances. It was my mother. She started enquiring about my well being. I lied in order to avoid the barrage of questions that generally follow. But.....the cough gave way. I almost broke down. She told me to come to delhi that same evening. You may dislike your mother's constant worry, but parents are the only people who care. I took the flight and reached my house. My mother was standing infront of me, with her mouth wide open in shock. My dehydrated body was too much for her to bear. I hugged her and whispered," I just want to sleep." A cozy bed was prepared and that night, i forgot the world and entered deep slumber. Ignorance is bliss.